Remembering Oct. 31st...one year ago

This Halloween was a lot different from last year. On this day last year, we brought our sweet baby girl home from the hospital. It was the happiest day of my life. I was finally able to bring her home after 5 LONG weeks of staying in the NICU. I got very emotional just thinking about this time last year. I know I keep saying this, but it's crazy how things can change in a year. I got a little teary eyed thinking back to this time last year and thinking about how little Mak was.

Leaving my baby girl in the hospital was the hardest thing that I have ever done. I cried and cried the day I left her there. It felt so strange coming home the first night without her. Somehow I felt as it were my fault that I couldn't bring her home with me. I know it was where she needed to be since she was born at 30 weeks but I wanted to take her home with me so badly. It just didn't seem fair to have to leave her there. I am so grateful for all of the nurses and doctors that took care of her when I couldn't be there. They will always hold a special place in my heart. They took such good care of her. I am also grateful that I was able to spend as much time with her as I wanted. I went up there every day and stayed and held her almost all day. I just couldn't seem to leave. When Jeff got off of work, he would come and we would stay until it was time to go home and go to bed. The nurses were so good about letting me be hands on and do most of the diaper changes. At first I was afraid because she was so tiny, but I caught on quickly. The nurses felt like family to me. They were always there for us. I also was able to hold her as she ate through her IV in the beginning. But most of all, I count my blessings that she was healthy. She wasn't sick at all, just too small. So many things could have gone wrong and she could have stayed in the hospital a lot longer than she did.

On October 30th, the doctor came in to check her as I was holding her. She checked her chart and asked me if we wanted to stay the night to do care by parent and then we could take her home the next day. I was so excited and scared all at once. That night we stayed in the care by parent room with Makayla and we didn't have any problems. We got up in the middle of the night and fed and changed her. She did a great job. The next day, we were able to leave. It was so surreal being able to walk out of the hospital with Makayla in our arms. October 31st will always be a very special day for us!

Makayla has come such a long way since that day, one year ago. She is now a healthy 1 year old and no one would even know that she was only 3 lbs 10 oz at birth. Here are some pictures of Makayla one year ago.